Friday, July 14, 2006
I don't have anything against straight guys. I really don't. My lunchtime gym is full of them (although I'm happy to report that there is an appropriate percentage of nice 'mos to keep me company too). I really don't care that all they talk about is sports. No really, it is the sole topic of conversation as they take their breaks between sets. And there is no reason why they shouldn't. They love sports; they talk about sports; no problem. Seriously, this crowd doesn't talk about anything else. Absolutely nothing else. Zilch. Nada. No politics, no "what are you doing this weekend," no talk about women, nothing about the weather, nothing about work, nothing about who drank too much over the weekend, nothing about anything else that would seem to indicate that they actually know anything about each other other than team affiliations. And these are guys that see each other virtually every day.
Typical scenario:
Straight Guy #1 walks into the weight room.
Straight Guy #2, jokingly: "Look out, he's a Met's fan."
Straight Guy #3: "We'll try to let that slide."
And that's the total conversation. No other words are spoken and Straight Guy #1 gets to work lifting.
Okay, that's an extreme example, because they more often are discussing game results or trades or speculating about upcoming games. Fine. That's what they like talking about. Not my thing, but whatever.
But I am going to have to draw the line and start killing people one by one with slow-acting poison if they are going to pepper their conversations with the phrase "your boy." I'm not sure why, but it absolutely grates on me. "What do you think about your boy going over to the Lakers?" "Your boy sure put on a show last night." "Is your boy out for the season?" Something about the implied possessiveness really disturbs me.
Please make it stop. Or you're all gonna have to come visit me in prison, cause I just can't take it any more.
Love,
Your Boy
Typical scenario:
Straight Guy #1 walks into the weight room.
Straight Guy #2, jokingly: "Look out, he's a Met's fan."
Straight Guy #3: "We'll try to let that slide."
And that's the total conversation. No other words are spoken and Straight Guy #1 gets to work lifting.
Okay, that's an extreme example, because they more often are discussing game results or trades or speculating about upcoming games. Fine. That's what they like talking about. Not my thing, but whatever.
But I am going to have to draw the line and start killing people one by one with slow-acting poison if they are going to pepper their conversations with the phrase "your boy." I'm not sure why, but it absolutely grates on me. "What do you think about your boy going over to the Lakers?" "Your boy sure put on a show last night." "Is your boy out for the season?" Something about the implied possessiveness really disturbs me.
Please make it stop. Or you're all gonna have to come visit me in prison, cause I just can't take it any more.
Love,
Your Boy
